Since the number one thing couples argue about is money, it makes sense to talk about it before the fighting starts. It’s important to know how each of you think about and spend your money, and whether you are in agreement about how the household expenses should be handled.
There are two basic money personalities: spender and saver. The spender usually enjoys shopping and may not really pay attention to how much he or she spends. He may amass huge amounts of credit card debt without realizing how high it is getting.
The saver is usually cautious. He or she puts money away for a “rainy day.” She probably has a budget and sticks to it. She may have money for savings and investments taken right out of her check or bank account so that she isn’t tempted to use the money for something else.
If both of you are spenders, you may not think about how much you are spending until you see the balances on your credit cards rise to astonishing heights. Unfortunately, high credit card debts are often difficult to pay off and may lead to huge arguments, especially once you reach your limit and can no longer charge. Also, if you have too many credit card payments, it can put a strain on your relationship both emotionally and financially if either of you lose work for even a short period of time.
If one of you is a spender and the other a saver, the saver may question many of the spender’s purchases, pointing out that they are either unnecessary or over-priced. On the other side, the spender may want to spend money that the saver has tucked away. Often, the saver needs this money to feel secure, so being pressured to spend it on something she doesn’t feel is necessary can be very stressful for her.
If both of you are savers, you probably have a comfortable stash set aside in case of emergency, and you don’t touch it. You are probably both very frugal and careful with your money. However, you may both have a tendency to be over-critical of one another’s purchases.
After you determine what type of money personality you have and recognize the areas that are most likely to cause problems for you in the future, try to come up with a plan to handle those areas. For example, you might want to set a certain amount of money that each partner is allowed to spend without being having to answer to the other or open separate accounts for each of you, along with a joint account for household expenses.